And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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