she was so not down for the gang bang
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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