we're blogging at a bar
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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