If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Acid is not a monday night drug
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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