I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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