I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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