Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We are all done wearing pants today
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
