He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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