she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
