She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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