Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
