...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
