hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
