I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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