Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
