my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
