OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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