He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
