just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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