I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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