Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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