that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
