Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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