I'm going to jail i love you
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize