Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Even my vagina gasped.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize