just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
