I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
