matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
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