Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Drunk is not a location!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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