we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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