none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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