I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
whose parrot is this?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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