he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
