mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
