Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
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