just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
