Fuck appropriateness.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
