Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
