i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
