even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
