well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
