singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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