I miss vodka workout Fridays
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
