so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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