even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
