I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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