I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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