she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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