it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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