I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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