Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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