I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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