just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
