my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
