just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
