before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize