wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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